Who told you it was going to be easy? (Read time: 4 min.)

hope for itThere’s a movement going on that goes something like this:

“Getting what you want is easy.”

“You think it and it flows to you like water.”

“If you believe it, you can receive it.”

“Imagine, visualize and have faith and watch everything fall into the line.”

“The Universe will bring everything to you…”

That is what I call the bullshit, paint-by-numbers, sugar-coated method of ruining naive, trusting people’s lives…

There is some truth in each of the statements above:

1) What is for you is for you and what is for someone else is for them… and you never have to fight, steal, beg, or borrow to have what you want.  Now, you can always keep yourself from getting what you want by living in the “I don’t deserve this” self-sabotage place but that’s entirely and completely up to you.  Nobody else has to help you with self-esteem and deservability issues.

2) What you think has extreme influence on what you do.  “As a man thinketh, so is he” and that’s not because thoughts become things in the way that far too many seem to believe.  It’s because we take actions based upon our predominant thoughts.  Our consistent actions then become habits.  Our enduring habits then become ways of living and, before long, we begin to think that we ARE what we DO.

3) Belief and faith are important because they set the tone for the risks you’ll take and the options you’ll allow yourself to exercise.  But belief without action is nothing.  You can believe you’re going to be a millionaire all you want but if you never take the necessary actions, you’ll be left with a ton of empty faith and no money.

4) The Universe… Hmm… let’s go there for a minute.  Energy is energy.  God is God but none of that means anything if you don’t understand that you get what you give.  What you put out there comes back to you EVERY time.  More than that, the Universe WILL conspire in your favor but if you don’t even know what your “favor” is really doing under the surface (meaning all of those limiting beliefs that are secretly running your life), then the Universe might just be helping you into a pit of pain.

5) At the end of the day, we control very little but we influence A LOT.  Spending too much time in our tiny circle of control and not enough time in our enormous circle of influence  is the surest way to experience numerous nervous breakdowns.

Let me be VERY clear about what needs to change about how we approach the Laws of the Universe:

  1. Your path to your destiny, dreams, or desires does not and, in many cases, WILL NOT be easy.  It doesn’t have to be.  You CAN do hard things and there’s a sense of accomplishment and power that comes with being able to overcome the obstacles.
  2. You get what you give.  If you bring mediocre to your attempts at success, you’ll get mediocre.  If you spend your time being  jealous and envious of other people, you’ll get jealousy and envy back.  If you walk around saying that life hates you, you’ll continue to get proof that it does.  You are the one creating your world so what you see REALLY affects how you experience life.
  3. You call something into being before it EVER really is but it’s not faith alone that takes it from idea to reality.  It’s faith combined with purpose, vision, passion, commitment and persistence.  There’s a lot that goes into this “thinking from the end.”  This is not about wishing for a thing and waiting for its arrival.  It’s about intending a thing, speaking it into being, and with unwavering dedication and flexible action, taking daily steps towards the goal UNTIL it arrives.
  4. No matter how much you beg, plead and bargain with the Universe, there’s timing to everything.  Your actions can slow down or speed up the process but they aren’t the only things determining the duration.  Be patient with life and believe that life works for you.  When you do this, you let go of the resistance of impatience and you embrace the openness of change.  You enjoy life in the process instead of waiting impatiently to arrive at the destination.

At the end of the day, it is up to you to decide if you’re not strong enough to stay the course, if you’re not committed enough to do hard things, if you’re simply not ready to take the risks necessary to ascend to a higher life.  You can choose to shrink, not grow, refuse risk and stay the same… and the Universe will love you all the while.  But it is not up to anyone or anybody else to make life easy, to offer you everything you need at the blink of an eye or to sugarcoat your existence by not offering you soul opportunities for growth (that usually come in the form of pain).  Why we live in a world where people would rather sedate their grief than feel it, I don’t know but true strength does not come from an easy course; it comes from a life fully lived and experienced.  That means the good, the bad and the ugly.  Don’t shy away from any of it.  You can and WILL do hard things… and the victory of it will enthrall you!

Do You Feel the Need to “Earn” Everything? Here’s why you need to stop that! (Read Time: 4 min.)

powerfulDo you make “earning” blessings a part of your everyday life?

Is getting something for nothing a hard concept for you to grasp?

When people give you anything freely (a compliment, a free drink, a major purchase item), do you look at them sideways and think, “So… what’s the catch?”

Deep down, do you love the satisfaction of working for everything you get because, at least then, no one can say they handed you anything?

If you answered ‘Yes’ to any of the above, you’re right in the “I-don’t-want-hand-outs-or-help-or-support-or-anything-that-looks-like-generosity-because-I’d rather-earn-it-myself” camp and I’m right there with you.

But the problem with this kind of mentality isn’t simply that it limits what you can receive… but that it denies what you really deserve.

Somehow, we’ve come to a point where we confuse what we deserve with what we have to earn.  Either we’re on the end of the spectrum where folks say “Hand me everything because I’m young, beautiful and I won’t work for it anyway” or we’re on the end of the spectrum where we’ve lived enough to say, “I know nothing comes without a catch so I’m going to work my tail off because I’d rather sweat my blessings than have you one day come back to me and slap me in the face with them by saying ‘You owe me.'”

Either perspective doesn’t work.  There are MANY blessings in life that will come to you with no hard labor, no hard work, no calculated planning.  The blessings will land in your lap and, as you enjoy the gift, you’ll remember that somewhere long ago, maybe 5 or 10 years ago, you prayed and hoped for this thing… and then you forgot that you did… and now here it is.

Your blessings will come freely if you allow them to.  

But what is it with some of us and this need to work too damn hard for every single thing we get?  Let’s stop that nonsense.

Instead of expecting the world to be a “gimme gimme” place, let’s become individuals whose arms are outstretched, ready to receive at any moment but not expecting everything to come on a silver platter.  Let’s be grateful for all that we have and let’s make gratitude a way of life and not simply a list we write as part of our daily morning routine.  Let’s look at life from a “How can I serve?” perspective and stop worrying about the costs of giving.  Let’s go for what we REALLY want without feeling guilty when we finally get it.  And let’s stop being the kind of people who limit God by telling Him that we know all of this “success stuff” is up to us and not up to Him.  He is always in the midst of what we do.  We are always on His mind.  Maybe if we stopped living like a lone wolf and started taking our rightful place in the pack, we’d get much farther much faster.

No person makes it alone.  And, yes, there are still generous people in the world who will give to you with no expectation of receiving.  Be open to all of it.  Be open to receiving your highest good.

Get Your Fire Back! (Read Time: 3 min.)

wild onceIn children, we reward ‘nice’ and punish ‘wild.’  In adults, we applaud ‘outstanding’ and criticize ‘weird.’  In animals, we nurture ‘cuddly’ and quarantine ‘fierce.’  Isn’t it funny how we seem to ask everyone and everything to be tamer than what they were meant to be?

There comes a moment when you have to decide that your life isn’t about pleasing the crowd, fitting into ‘normal’ or accepting society’s standards of behavior or their road map to mediocrity.  What makes you brilliant is the same thing that makes you strange.  What makes you capable of taking your life to the next level is the exact thing you are trying so hard to push down and out of your psyche.  There is no carbon copying greatness because the kind that’s in you isn’t in anybody else… So why don’t we use it?  Why do we squash the fire within and build up the dull, flat appearance of normalcy?  Because we’re all afraid… We’re afraid of who we’ll be when the truth gets out.  We’re afraid of what people will say when we no longer have the desire to play small.  We’re afraid that if we get out of the “box”, we’ll never be small enough to get back in…

And guess what?  All those fears are right!

If you let the fire back into your life, you will be someone different than you are right now.

If you let the fire back into your life, people will talk about you, behind your back, and to your face… and tell you things you probably don’t want to hear.

If you let the fire back into your life, you will get out of the box and the REAL YOU will be too big to ever go back there again.

So what?

The fire within you won’t go away no matter how much water you pour over it.  Rather than spend your life fighting to be someone that you’re not, struggling to live a life that’s way too small for you, doesn’t it make more sense to give up the facade, unleash the fire, and live an untamed life?  I think so…

Try it… You’ll have more fun that way 🙂

Stop Weighing the Risk- It all works out anyway… (Read Time: 3 min.)

other side of fear 2If I told you how many sleepless nights I spent weighing the pros and cons of a particular decision, it would amaze you… and what I’m discovering is a really profound, freeing truth:

It all works out anyway…

Sounds trite, doesn’t it?  It’s absolutely true.  So often, we play out decision trees in our minds: “If I do this, then that could happen…” or “If I go in that direction, then what if this happens?”  But there’s no crystal ball to give us the specifics.  Yes, we can pay for psychics and astrologists or we can run our numerology charts (by the way, I love numerology) but, at the end of the day, the lives we live are based on the daily choices we make and every choice will lead you to exactly where you are supposed to be.  Now, if you’re like me, you’re saying to yourself, “Yeah, I get that but I’d rather get to the Promised Land without the 40 years spent wandering in the wilderness, thank you very much.”  Agreed.  Why spend three straight years in the spiritual 6th grade if you don’t have to?

But, let’s reconsider this resistance to learning…

What if you get more from your wanderings than you do from your arrivals?  

What if the ‘in betweens’ of life (and so much of life is the ‘in between’) is so priceless and so precious to who you are becoming that you could never get to your level of greatness over there without feeling stuck ‘in between’ over here?  

What if God knows exactly what He’s doing and the only thing  He’s waiting on you to do is have faith and keep it moving?  

What if life is a safe, friendly place that you can put your trust in and boldly step out on? 

What if the mistakes don’t matter? 

What if the choices are more than you could ever imagine but each one takes you to the exact next step you need to be at?

What if your fear wasn’t a signal for you to stop but a sign for you to reconsider, re-stratregize, and boldly try again? 

What if you are strong enough to fail forward?

What if you are brave enough to create the life you really wish you had?

And what if all the non-sense and all the drama and all the setbacks were really signs saying, “Babe, your standards are too low… Go higher!” 

What if, at the end of your life, you could look back and see that not only did you achieve your goals but you lived your dreams… and had happiness all the way through the process?

Yeah, you can do that… Stop weighing the risk and go for the gold.  The moment to do it is… you guessed it… RIGHT NOW…