Have you ever found yourself in a situation, circumstance, or experience that you absolutely did not want, wishing you could be in any other circumstance but THIS, feeling angry, frustrated, bitter and stuck because the hand life dealt you is not the hand you expected to receive?
Have you ever found yourself in a place where you thought, “If only I work hard enough, long enough, and I’m good enough, I will turn this situation around” only to have things NOT go the way you planned?
Have you ever created a plan that, in time, made God laugh?
I think we all have. James Allen has said, “Circumstances do not make the man; they reveal him to himself.” Although the statement is true, when you’re in a circumstance you didn’t choose and you certainly don’t want, the truth of that statement falls on deaf ears. But, at some point, when you’ve had enough experiences where you rail and kick and decide to become Manager of the Universe (only to figure out that it’s not your role and you need to hand it back), you begin to see that the amount of energy expended fighting life could be better used flowing with it.
For women breadwinners, this can be especially frustrating because we’re used to being in the driver’s seat, used to being on top, making things happen, and taking names as we rush on to the next big project or pursuit. There’s a reputation that goes along with being SuperWoman but even SuperWoman has help. When you find yourself in a situation that is less than desired, a circumstance that came at an amazingly incovenient time, you have two choices:
1) Accept it.
2) Deny it.
If you deny the situation, you do one of two things:
1) Pretend it’s not happening
2) Downplay the extent to which it is.
If you accept the situaiton, you do one of two things:
1) Decide EARLY what the situation means (positive) and
2) Decide quickly what the experience has come to teach you.
In denial, there’s defense. In acceptance, there’s freedom.
But how do you get from denial to acceptance, especially when the situation you’re fracing seems completely devoid of any possibility for a WIN?
Simple (but not easy):
Cooperate with the Universe.
What does that mean?
In the words of William James, “Be willing to have it so… Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”
Yeah, so… get over the shock, embrace the new normal, choose an empowering meaning, stick to THAT meaning, get the lesson, and make a different choice next time.
Easier said than done? Yes.
So here are 5 practical ways to cooperate with the Universe:
- Do ALL you can about what you can.
- If there’s NOTHING you can do about it, stop worrying about it. Your worry won’t wave any magic wands.
- Bend with the inevitable rather than break under it.
- Trust that the process of life works FOR you, not against you.
- Absorb shocks as they come rather than feeling them before they even hit (i.e. get rid of the “waiting for the other shoe to drop” mentality; you’ll have enough to deal with IF it does hit; no need for advanced experience of things that haven’t happened yet).
Remember one final thing:
When you REALLY, REALLY want something, the Universe does conspire in your favor BUT REALLY wanting something also means, on some level, you truly believe you can have it.