I remember the birth of my first child (who’s about to be 16 years old next month) like it was yesterday. Montgomery, Alabama… steaming hot weather… me waddling around at 39.5 weeks… exhilarated, scared, and seriously ready to have my body back. When 40 weeks came and went, the doctor made the blessed decision to bring me to the hospital and induce labor. “Yes!” I proclaimed as we rushed to the hospital. Over 36 hours later and 1 hour away from a C-section, I learned that no matter how much you prod and probe the birth of anything, sometimes… it stalls. I was induced alright. And then the contractions STOPPED. Yes, stopped as in no contractions. They started again and came back REALLY strong but, this time, the baby didn’t descend. He had decided very clearly, “I AM NOT COMING OUT!” So, one hour before I was scheduled to have a C-section, the boy dropped down, the contractions were hot and heavy, and I gave birth to an 8 pound, 6.5 ounce baby boy… and the rest, as they say, is history.
So what did that teach me about life?
It taught me that sometimes, when you’ve conceived a big dream and you’re in the process of nurturing and giving it life, when it’s getting closer and closer, sometimes labor and delivery stops. Sometimes, the doors of opportunity close, the windows of passage shut, and everything you thought would’ve happened by now… hasn’t.
What do you do when the labor and delivery of your dream stalls?
Here are 3 things you start with:
1) Wait and listen. When things start to slow down or get to a complete halt, it’s natural to want to force, push and shove our way into the fulfillment of our dreams. After all, we’ve worked hard. All of THIS can’t be for nothing, can it? But pushing a boulder uphill isn’t fun and, at the end of the day, if it isn’t meant to be, no amount of forcing will make it so. When you feel like the dream you’re birthing isn’t coming down the birth canal, rather than try to shove it down, give things a break by stepping back and taking the time to listen to your Higher Self. There may be more information that you need to know before the next step comes.
2) Focus on improving the things that you CAN control. What, right now, is in your power to make better? Focus on that and give your all to improving that area of your life and, eventually, your dream will come back into center focus. When you do this, it’s not that you’re giving up on your dream or losing sight of it. You’re simply giving your seed the room it needs to grow in the soil as you water it by improving another part of the garden. Do what you can with what you have.
3) Say ‘Screw the worry!’ and resign as Manager of the Universe. You don’t control the process. You don’t know the timing of the manifestation of your dream. When you get sick and tired enough of worrying about what could be, what should be, and how it’s all going to come together, you’ll surrender the cause and go find some relaxation in a good book, a favorite movie, or time with friends. When you surrender, you gain strength and your dream gains momentum… even if it doesn’t seem that way at first.
Bottom line is this: Waiting sucks. Yes, really sucks. It’s no fun to wait for something that you really wanted to have here yesterday. But waiting happens. Rather than rail against the inevitable time a dream will take, use the three steps above to make your wait the most productive and least painful it can be.
So tell me.
Which of these 3 above steps will you have the hardest time doing and why?
What will you do to work through it?
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