I haven’t posted in the last few weeks.  Every time I looked at my blog editorial calendar, I thought to myself, “I have nothing to say.”  Women breadwinners, female breadwinners, sole breadwinners, women breadwinners and money, love, marriage, kids… so many topics and I had absolutely nothing to say.  Nada… Nothing… Not a thing…

Until today.  I can’t explain what changed or what happened but it took me the last month to return to myself… and I didn’t even realize that I’d been missing.

Ever have a moment where you forgot who you are?

Not your name, date of birth, occupation, or the basic everyday labels of life but the essence of who you are, the spirit that’s within you, the inner fires that still burn bright… Ever forget that they’re there?  I did… and it took me some time to figure out A- what was missing and B- how to return it to its rightful place.

So, here are 5 things I’ve RE-discovered (and I hope it helps you rediscover something in yourself as well):

1) I have an awesome capacity to make s*it happen and happen brilliantly, completely, and with absolute excellence.  Not only had I forgotten that fact about myself but, looking back, I realize that I’ve been dimming the light on that part of my brilliance (in part, to make others feel okay being around me) for a WHILE.   So I’m going to stop that effective IMMEDIATELY.  I’m brilliant and anybody who doesn’t like that fact can take it where? BACK THERE…  #nuffsaid

2) I need more adventure in my life.  Somewhere along the pursuit of stability, predictability, and a sense of security, I forgot that I’m an adventurer at heart.  I like to take risks.  I like to have fun.  I NEED adventure.  Whether that’s going on an actual safari or treating a Target shopping trip like it is one, I need the chase.  So I’m adding more of that to my life.

3) I have no time for people, situations or things that have more interest in whining than growing.  There’s a time to vent and throw pity parties.  I do it.  Everybody does and I am quickly learning to separate those people who share frustration from those who live as victims and, effective immediately, all those who enjoy victimhood will not find time in my inner circle.  Being picky about who you hang out with is critical to success and, somehow, I was getting less picky in the last five years and hadn’t even realized it.  So now I’m doing an inner circle inventory and if a person’s not rowing in the boat with me, if they’re drilling holes as I row the boat, they are getting a one hour notice: bye bye!

4) I can accomplish more faster than I was giving myself credit for.  This is linked to epiphany #1 but it’s different.  I have spent the last five years going through some major ups and downs and, all the while, I spent a lot of the time babying myself, cushioning my back for a fall.  That’s a great skill for a therapist but it’s not a great attribute for a person looking to succeed in a life that will ALWAYS have ups and downs.  I challenged myself this week to do 2.5 hours of exercise a day knowing that I’ve been sedentary for the last three years.  I told myself, “My body can do this.  I’ve done this before.  No easing into it… Just get it done and your body will back you on it.”  And my body has.  For most of this week, I’ve woken up, gotten straight into my gym clothes and worked out for 2.5 hours STRAIGHT.  And I feel amazing!  Oftentimes, we baby ourselves into a state of mediocrity.  And this isn’t about tough love; it’s about living up to your capacity of strength, agility, and performance.  If you’re not doing that, you’re not growing.

5) Smelling good, dressing impeccably, and sporting high heels are critical factors to my self-esteem.  Having spent the past few years in sweats and sneakers, I can tell you that I am ready for an extreme Kassandra makeover.  I forgot what it felt like to strut out daily in 3 inch heels and a sweaterdress smelling like Chanel No. 5 and feeling absolutely impeccable.  I’m working a plan to bring that back so between the gym, Victoria’s Secret, Bath & Body Works, Chanel, Gilt.com, and a really great hairdresser, I’m bringing my sexy back!

These five discoveries were HUGE for me… game changers… and it’s brought back a level of creativity, focus and joy that had been missing for some time.

Is it hard work?  Yes.  Anything worth having is…

Am I in the “arrival stage of it”?  No.  Life is evolution.  I’m never going to “arrive.”  I’m simply choosing to re-introduce me to ME, get back to HER, and enjoy life for what it is… Hope you’re doing the same!