Are You Living a Gorgeous Life? (Read Time: 2 min.)

Tangia picAre you living a gorgeous life?  

Does your physical and mental state reflect your level of well-being and abundance? 

Or is there something missing?  

I interviewed Tangia Al-awaji Estrada, health coach and Creator of Hello Gorgeous Fitness (http://www.hellogorgeousfitness.com) on the She Runs The Show podcast and we dished about health, fitness and why we don’t treat our bodies like the temples they are.

At one point, Tangia broke it down:

“You have to take a scan of your life… Have a dialogue with yourself about how you feel in your body.  How do you feel in your body? When was the last time you felt good and what were you doing when you felt that way?  When was the last time you really felt bad about yourself?”

Hmm… When was the last time you asked ANY of those questions?

The reality is this:

What we feel on the inside ALWAYS manifests on the outside.  If you’re ready to create a gorgeous life (physical, mental, spiritual, and entrepreneurial), you must listen to this amazing episode with Tangia.

Be sure to follow Hello Gorgeous Fitness on Instagram at http://www.instagram.com/HelloGorgeousFitness and visit the site at http://www.HelloGorgeousFitness.com.

–>Click HERE to listen to this She Runs The Show Episode<–

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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Entrepreneurs (Read Time: 3 min.)

Insta 6In life and business, it’s so easy to get caught up in the comparison trap.

For example, I’m a coach, an author, and a Fear-To-Fuel expert.  If I spent my time looking at the thousands of certified coaches, Kindle book authors, and experts teaching online courses on how to overcome fear, I’d certainly call it quits and stop running my business.  What a way to extinguish a dream!

And, yet, far too many of us do exactly that.  Instead of using our social media time to connect and collaborate, we focus on what other people in our field are doing… and then the inner critic rages at us about how we can’t possibly get to that level with “those” super stars.

It’s time to get over that!

In this episode of the She Runs The Show podcast, I talk about:

  1. The REAL reason the comparison switch gets flipped in your life
  2. Why no 2 businesses or brands are the same in ANY way
  3. What writers understand about authentic expression that you absolutely need to get
  4. How to get out of the comparison trap
  5. 3 steps to using your IQ (Individual Qualities) to create massive growth in your business

–>Click HERE to listen<–

Are You a Woman in Your 30s, Single, and Serious About Having Kids Before You Turn 40? 5 Reasons Why You NEED to Start a Business NOW… (Read Time: 4 min.)

PregnantThe biological clock… I used to think it was a myth… in my 20s… And it is a myth, of sorts. But here’s the reality of female reproduction:

As women, we have a very small window (esp. after you figure college, climbing the corporate ladder, a few bumpy relationships, maybe a divorce or two, and then finding ourselves) in which to have babies.

Yes, Halle Berry had a baby at 46.  Yes, Geena Davis was over 40 when she had her first.  Those are the exceptions (and, hello, we don’t really know HOW they accomplished that- let’s not go there).

The reality is that while you can spend your entire life building a career, as a woman, you don’t have your ENTIRE life to have babies.

So what do you do when you’re in your 30s, single, and ULTRA serious about having kids BEFORE you turn 40 (at least baby #1):

Start a business!

Oh, yeah, I said it.

 

Here are 5 reasons why, as a woman wanting to have babies and planning to start a family later in life, entrepreneurship is the way to go:

Reason #1: After all the drama, trauma, and waiting you’re going through to get to Baby #1, the LAST thing you want to do is have that cute, adorable baby and then shuffle him or her off to daycare at Month 3.  For most women, putting babies in day care is a heart-wrenching process and if you don’t want to do it, starting a business is a surefire way to ensure you never have to.  Nanny? Yes.  Baby day care from 6 am to 5 pm Monday through Friday and miss out on all the key moments of those first years? No.

Reason #2: If you don’t want to do the “sacrifice” thing when it comes to mommyhood and your self-care, you’re going to need the kind of money that only entrepreneurship can bring (without the crazy work hours and schedule that higher income jobs require).  Pedicures, manicures, spa days, girls weekend out in Vegas… they cost money.  And so do diapers, formula, humidifiers, strollers that are cute, playpens that don’t feel like baby jails, jumperoos, and all of those Baby Gap outfits… oh yes, $$$$$$.  The more PROFIT you make, the more disposable income you have to take care of the baby AND you…

Reason #3: Providing for a child long term is an expensive state of affairs.  There’s some number rolling around in articles to the tune of $350,000- the cost to raise ONE child.  They forgot that children don’t always leave at 18.  In fact, they’re now coming home after college more than ever so add $80,000 to that price and you’ve got a 30 year estimate for the first 30 years of your FIRST child’s life.  Multiply that by 3, 4 or 5 if you plan to have more kids.  So, the reality is you get the cute, cuddly babies.  The other reality is they cost money for a lifetime.  Multi-millionaire entrepreneurs have the time, freedom AND money to provide security, nurturing, and love to the children they create.  A 9-5 job will never do that on the same level.

Reason #4: You might want to have the option to raise your children as dual stay-at-home parents who happen to be lifestyle entrepreneurs.  What if you want to raise your children with an ultra-involved spouse who, like you, can drop things at a moment’s notice to take the kids to Aspen or Maui or New York City or Japan?  That doesn’t happen when both you and your spouse are working “day” jobs and let me help you out: doctors, lawyers, pharmacists and engineers may make great money but they still have “day” jobs.  #justsayin

Reason #5: You’d like to enjoy the highs and lows of pregnancy with the option of actually ever having to dress up.  As an online entrepreneur, you can be pregnant, plump and happy making money in your PJs.  Does it take a lot of work to get there? Yes.  Is it totally doable?  Yes.  And, trust me, your swollen feet, big belly, and mid-day craving trips to the store for ice cream will thank you for your entrepreneurial decision.

These are just 5 of the MANY reasons that, as a woman who’s in her 30s, single and planning to have a family SOON, you want to start a business NOW.  It might take you a year (or 2, 3, or 4) to find the right partner, get situated, and get pregnant (contrary to all those after-school specials, in your 30s, “one time” isn’t the norm of what it takes to get pregnant).  Why not use that time of “waiting” wisely?  Build a business that supports your need for personal and financial freedom.  Build the nest for that baby you KNOW is on his or her way.  That way, when you actually have the baby, you’ll also have the time to enjoy this long awaited dream.

Yes, darling, it’s time you ramped up on the business so when the baby comes, you can bask in the miracle of the one thing money can’t buy: the ability to create and nurture new life.  

If you’ve been thinking about a business but you don’t know where to start, join me on a FREE call tomorrow night.  I’m bringing you AMAZING information on clarity and calling, two ingredients that are critical to business success.

–>CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP<– 

When was the last time you held someone else’s dream in your heart? (Read Time: 2 min.)

SRTS 3Connection… It’s a word we entrepreneurs read, hear and see EVERYWHERE…

People talk about it, teach on it and debate through it.

But here’s the deal: connection is what human beings crave.  Of course it’s at the heart of business.  Just as a newborn needs to be touched to remain alive, so people need to be seen, heard, and known in ways that are quickly becoming extinct.

So often, when you’re starting a business, you’re laser focused on what you need to do to get the business off the ground:

Who’s my target market?

What’s my core message?

How often am I posting?

What am I offering?

When’s my product launch?

It’s so easy to get into the self-centered place of ME, ME, ME…

But that’s not where a successful business comes from.

A successful business comes from a clear and complete focus on helping others achieve their goals and dreams, a thing you can only do if you actually understand what those goals and dreams are.

So… I have a challenge for you this week…

I want you to change the lens of your focus.  Instead of focusing on what you have to be, do, or say, I want you to ask and act on one important question:

When was the last time I held someone else’s dream in my heart?

I want you to find out the dreams of 20 people you don’t know this week (use Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, wherever) and I want you to find out how you can help each of those 20 people achieve their dreams.  Whatever is in your power to do, I want you to do it.

Okay now… let’s get started!

7 Ways to Use Less Time to Get More Done in Your Business (Read Time: 5 min.)

dear 3 amThere’s never enough time.  I know no other way to say it.

I get the Ford mantra, “If you think it’s hard, you’re right…” and the Wayne Dyer philosophy of “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” but here’s the deal:

If you have major life commitments outside of your business (i.e. a family, going to school full time, a day job, a part time job, etc.), building your business means that you have less time to become MORE productive.

So how do you leverage what little time you have to get A TON of stuff done in your biz?

Here are 10 Time Hacks you can use to create entrepreneurial momentum and SERIOUS productivity:

Hack #1: Stop multi-tasking.  Multi-tasking is highly overrated.  #1- Studies now show that human beings don’t multi-task,  #2- Multi-tasking results in less done well.  Total waste of time.  Stop doing it.  Instead,  put WHOLE mind into PRESENT action.  In other words, whatever you’re working on, give it all you’ve got for the entire time you’re working on it.  Set a timer if you have to but be PRESENT.

Hack #2: Create a triggering ritual that starts your day off right.  What is one thing that you could do that would start your entire day off on the right foot?  For some, it’s exercise.  For others, it’s Starbucks.  Find that one ritual that wakes you up, gets you excited for the day and do it CONSISTENTLY.  Some-timing things doesn’t produce long term results.  It needs to be something that will become what Twyla Tharp, in a book she wrote called The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life,calls a “triggering ritual.”  It signals to your mind and body, “On your mark, get set, go!!!!!!!!!!!” and you’re off and running. Do it daily.

Hack #3: Sleep less.  Yes, I’m the big bad wolf here.  Yes, I know sleep is critical (books like Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder
and The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time are champions of this and I agree with them).  However, when you are launching a business, when you are growing a business, and when you have many other priorities pulling for your time, guess what?  Sleep becomes a luxury.  I’m not saying sleep 2 hours a night.  Be smart about your sleep requirements.  Everyone has a sleep threshold (the minimum number of hours of sleep they can operate well on).  Whatever that threshhold is, apply it to a MINIMUM of 4 nights a week.  Try to get good sleep (7-8 hours) 2-3 nights a week.  Will your body’s sleep clock be off?  Yes.  Will your body basal thermometer readings look coo coo for cocoa puffs?  Yes.  Will this be short term if you do it right?  Absolutely!  Do what you HAVE to do now so you can do what you WANT to do later.

Hack #4: Hire help.  I’m bad at this one.  In fact, I’m trying to hire my first assistant right now.  The reality is: no woman is an island.  At some point, if you want to get to the next level, you have to DELEGATE.  For most of us starting out, the sentiment is “I can’t afford an assistant.”  What I’m quickly learning is that you can’t afford to NOT have one.  Go to Task Rabbit or post on a job board or get a referral from a friend but hire help.  And, yes, you will have bad hires the first few times you do it (all of my women entrepreneur friends who’ve been there and done that have told me MANY horror stories) but you’ve got to get up that learning curve.  Start hiring and decide to fail forward.  Eventually, you’ll get the process down and you’ll find the right people to be on your team.

Hack #5: Slash half of your To-Do list.  Ooooh… I know… Tough stuff.  Far too many of us love the feeling of a checked off looooooooong To-Do list but do we ask ourselves, “How important is each of these things to the overall success of my business?”  I don’t think so… Be super-vigilant about your To-Do list and keep it small (like 3 items a day).  What are the 3 MOST important moves you’ll need to make today?  Get those done and then figure out your next 3 steps…

Hack #6: Get a massage.  Weird, right?  Massage?  Business?  Massages relieve tension.  Relieved tension makes way for creativity.  Creativity fosters innovation and innovation produces results.  Use Groupon to find cheap massages or go to the local massage therapy school in your area and have massage students give you a one hour massage for cheap.  Either way, make this a once-a-week to once every two week REQUIREMENT.  Ease your mind, restore your life!

Hack #7: Keep family time CENTRAL and work time PERIPHERAL.  One of the most profound things I’ve ever read on this issue came from Jon Acuff’s book,Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work that Matters.  In the book, he says, “Be selfish at 5:00 am… When you’re a spouse, parent, or caregiver, your time doesn’t just belong to you.  It’s in large part communal property, shared by the entire house.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t be selfish with some of that time.  You just have to know when you can be, which is why I mention 5:00 am.”

None of these hacks are “secrets.”  They’re timeless strategies that work.  The key to making the most of them is CONSISTENCY.

Pick one of the above hacks and commit to implementing it for the next 30 days.

I’d love to know which one you pick.

Leave a comment letting me know which Hack you’ll be working on the for month of December.

Let the accountability begin!

Time flies

What You Need Versus What You Want… (Read Time: 2 min.)

settleAs a woman entrepreneur, what’s the difference between what you NEED and what you WANT?

Is there even a difference?

Half of getting what you want comes in knowing what you deserve.

The other half comes in being able to distinguish the timing, quality and extent to which you choose the need versus the want in any given situation.

Let me give you a few examples…

As a woman entrepreneur, do you NEED business cards?  Or do you WANT them?

Do you NEED to go to networking events or do you WANT to?

Do you NEED to spend six months paying someone thousands of dollars creating your “personal brand” or do you WANT to?

Keep in mind: there are no right or wrong answers but there are optimal choices for YOU…

Get to the core of what you NEED so you can define the extent of what you WANT.

Literally pull out a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle and, on the left hand column write: “What I WANT in my business” and on the right hand column write, “What I NEED in my business.”

Creating a simple list like this will help you decide what to say ‘Yes’ to and what to say ‘No’ to.

Far too often, we say ‘Yes’ to things we think we need when the ‘No’ would’ve gotten us closer to what we WANT.

Think about that the next time you make a business or life decision… 

What’s the ONE Thing That Will Change EVERYTHING? (Read Time: 4 min.)

KBibas pic1For weeks, I’ve pondered that question…

Why am I so tired?

Why is my business not taking off? 

What’s missing in this situation?

Why doesn’t the process FEEL right?

What’s the ONE thing that will change EVERYTHING?

I’m not referring to the gold pot at the end of the rainbow or the secret key that unlocks new worlds.  I’m talking about what Charles Duhigg, in “The Power of Habit” calls a keystone habit, the one game changing habit that, once you change it, changes everything else in your life for the better.

I’ve been searching for my keystone habit… the one thing that would shift my life in the direction I’ve been wanting to go for YEARS… and guess what?

I’ve been looking in all the wrong places, doing all the wrong things, and feeling SUPER exhausted in the process.

Because that’s what happens when you try to give insignificant things monumental meanings.  

You get frustrated, tired, overwhelmed and burnt out. 

And the reality was that I had the answer all along.

So often, the things we desire are things that we think can solve the deeper problems of our lives:

More money solves the happiness problem.

More time solves the I won’t live forever problem.

More love solves the loneliness issue.

But, if you’ve lived long enough, you know that none of that is true.  In fact:

More money brings more money management situations to deal with.

More time offers more opportunities to be who you really are with time (time waster, time zapper, time ninja?)

More love gives more ways to either accept that love or turn it away (if you’re comfort zone is lonely, no amount of love is going to take you from it)

So, at the end of the day, the REAL solution is SUPER simple:

GO BACK TO THE BASICS.

BASIC #1: Whatever the problem is, you already have the answer.

BASIC #2: The key to having the answer actually solve the problem is implementing the solution OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN (i.e. repetition makes the master).

BASIC #3: Until you stop starting over, you’ll never know whether your answer is THE answer (and, way too often, we’re more in love with the idea of starting over than the concept of staying committed.)

BASIC #4: When in doubt, remind yourself about Basics 1, 2 and 3 INCESSANTLY.

So, what does all of this have to do with being a woman in business?

Whether you’re a solopreneur, a business partner, an online maven, or a combination of all of them, when your business isn’t where you want it to be, the answer isn’t found outside… it’s found within.

In doing my own self-reflection, what I’ve come to understand about my business endeavors is this:

1) If my body isn’t properly cared for, my mind won’t work at full throttle.

2) If my mind isn’t at full throttle, my creativity is in the toilet.

3) If my creativity is in the toilet, I lose my sense of desire, passion, and momentum.

4) If I lose my sense of desire, passion and momentum, I lose the commitment to stay the course and stay true to my mission of helping 100,000 women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s redesign their lives by running their shows- their WHOLE shows.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to the sooooooooo unsexy truth:

I’ve got to re-implement my rituals of self-care AND I have to KEEP them.

If my mind and body don’t get my love, my business never will…

Basic… SUPER basic… and, nonetheless, super powerful and super true!

What are you doing this week to incorporate daily rituals of self-care into how you run your show?  

 

Pursuing a Goal? Focus on the ‘What’, Not the ‘How’ (Read Time: 3 min.)

obstaclesGoals… They’re everywhere.  We all have them.  Some goals take the forefront and we wake up thinking about them.  Other goals are more like wishes and, from time to time, when an experience comes to remind us that we REALLY want that goal, we remember the idea and feel a deep (and fleeting) desire to accomplish it.  Whether your goal is near or far, the reality of goal achievement is simple: you only get what you’re willing to give.  In other words, going after anything in life is about putting your WHOLE self into its pursuit.  That doesn’t mean you become OCD and go for the goal at all costs.  It doesn’t mean you sacrifice the rest of your life and live only for that goal.

Goal attainment is all about clarity, focus, and massive action.  

The more of those three you do, the closer to the goal you get.

So, let’s say you have a goal, a dream, a deep desire and you want to get from A-Z on it PRONTO… or you have lots of goals but none of them materialize because you never invest enough of yourself for long enough to achieve it.

How do you go from goal setting to goal attainment?

Here’s one simple way to start:

Focus on the ‘What’, Not the ‘How’

Most people set a goal and then ask that dreaded question, “How am I going to achieve that?” WRONG question.  In coaching, if you ask the right questions, you get the right answers.  If you ask the wrong questions, you go down a path that’s ineffective, unproductive, and uninspiring.

Any time you find yourself asking “But how?” or “How am I going to do that?” or “How am I going to overcome ‘this’ obstacle to get over there?”, STOP IT… The ‘hows’ never get answered before you actually do the work.  Even when you think you have the ‘hows’ answered in the form of detailed plans, the plans change, you throw them out the window and you get to the goal in a totally different way than you expected.  The ‘how’ is completely irrelevant, especially if you use the landmine question of ‘How’ to keep yourself from pursuing the goal.

No more asking ‘How’.  Instead, ask, “What?”

In other words:

  1. What do I want?
  2. What do I need?
  3. What skills do I have that can make this thing happen?
  4. What’s next?
  5. What are my next three steps?  What are my next three steps after that?
  6. What resources do I need?
  7. What phone calls do I need to make?
  8. What people do I need to connect with?
  9. What will keep me motivated when I get discouraged?
  10. What will keep me inspired when I’m doing the work and it’s feeling like work?
  11. What will I say to myself to make myself take action when I’m not in the mood?
  12. What will I do to celebrate each milestone along the way?
  13. What will I do when this goal happens?
  14. What will I do the day after this goal happens?

I could go on but you get my drift.  The ‘what’ is about action.  It’s about getting beyond the decision of ‘Should I REALLY do this?’  When you’re focused on the ‘what’, it’s very clear that you’ve already made an unequivocal decision to go for the goal.  The ‘what’ is simply facilitating the daily actions you need to take to get to the finish line.

With the what, getting to the finish line is never in question.  

A ‘what’ mentality builds its foundation on the fact that whatever goal you’ve set, you will achieve.  That’s it.  No doubts.  No second-guessing.  No worrying.  There isn’t time for worry in the ‘what’ because by the time you’ve answered some of those questions, you have a To-Do list a mile long.

So there you have it.  You want to achieve your goal?  Focus on the ‘what’, not the ‘how.’

Do You Feel the Need to “Earn” Everything? Here’s why you need to stop that! (Read Time: 4 min.)

powerfulDo you make “earning” blessings a part of your everyday life?

Is getting something for nothing a hard concept for you to grasp?

When people give you anything freely (a compliment, a free drink, a major purchase item), do you look at them sideways and think, “So… what’s the catch?”

Deep down, do you love the satisfaction of working for everything you get because, at least then, no one can say they handed you anything?

If you answered ‘Yes’ to any of the above, you’re right in the “I-don’t-want-hand-outs-or-help-or-support-or-anything-that-looks-like-generosity-because-I’d rather-earn-it-myself” camp and I’m right there with you.

But the problem with this kind of mentality isn’t simply that it limits what you can receive… but that it denies what you really deserve.

Somehow, we’ve come to a point where we confuse what we deserve with what we have to earn.  Either we’re on the end of the spectrum where folks say “Hand me everything because I’m young, beautiful and I won’t work for it anyway” or we’re on the end of the spectrum where we’ve lived enough to say, “I know nothing comes without a catch so I’m going to work my tail off because I’d rather sweat my blessings than have you one day come back to me and slap me in the face with them by saying ‘You owe me.'”

Either perspective doesn’t work.  There are MANY blessings in life that will come to you with no hard labor, no hard work, no calculated planning.  The blessings will land in your lap and, as you enjoy the gift, you’ll remember that somewhere long ago, maybe 5 or 10 years ago, you prayed and hoped for this thing… and then you forgot that you did… and now here it is.

Your blessings will come freely if you allow them to.  

But what is it with some of us and this need to work too damn hard for every single thing we get?  Let’s stop that nonsense.

Instead of expecting the world to be a “gimme gimme” place, let’s become individuals whose arms are outstretched, ready to receive at any moment but not expecting everything to come on a silver platter.  Let’s be grateful for all that we have and let’s make gratitude a way of life and not simply a list we write as part of our daily morning routine.  Let’s look at life from a “How can I serve?” perspective and stop worrying about the costs of giving.  Let’s go for what we REALLY want without feeling guilty when we finally get it.  And let’s stop being the kind of people who limit God by telling Him that we know all of this “success stuff” is up to us and not up to Him.  He is always in the midst of what we do.  We are always on His mind.  Maybe if we stopped living like a lone wolf and started taking our rightful place in the pack, we’d get much farther much faster.

No person makes it alone.  And, yes, there are still generous people in the world who will give to you with no expectation of receiving.  Be open to all of it.  Be open to receiving your highest good.

Are You Playing It “Safe” in Life? (Read Time: 2 min.)

back turnedYour job is good… but not great.

Your relationships are solid… but not exhilarating.

Your health is decent… but not vibrantly amazing.

When someone asks you how you’re doing, you say, “Fine” or “Okay” or “Alright.”

What if you woke up today and decided to stop playing it “safe” in life?  

What if you decided to begin living an extraordinary life right now?  

What would have to change about how you live in and react to your world?

You could easily start by changing your response to the question, “How are you?”

Next time someone asks you how you’re doing, give them an extraordinary answer, “Amazing”, “Awesome”, “Unstoppable” cause guess what?  You’ll surprise them and you’ll amaze yourself.

Playing it “safe” is the easiest way to not live your life.  Focusing on security and having things be “ok” is the fastest way to grow old before your time.

If you want an amazing life, start living one.  Act as if everything that happens today is brand new, something you’ve never seen before.  Treat the people you come in contact with today like the rock stars they are (even if they aren’t) and give yourself the star treatment of kindness, care, and respect as you move through your day (not rushing but basking).  Try it for 24 hours and see what happens…